About Me

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I am a mother of three boys and one girl, my youngest son Walker is developmentally delayed with no diagnosis, I am divorced and re-married, living life as I never imagined. I may be cynical, but I try to see the world as it is.... no frills but plenty of laughs.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Suspended moments

Most days I complain that life is going by too fast!  But have you ever had those moments when it seems that life slows down and you feel each moment go by in slow motion and all your senses are hyper alert, you can feel the air, smell and hear everything that is going on around you? Yesterday I had one of those moments.

 As I was returning home from dropping off my older boys at school, I took a road that doesn't lead directly to my house.  My mind was busy, thinking about my shopping list, what Walker ate for breakfast and all the usually fodder that occupies my mind 24/7.  So instead of turning around, I took a side road that I have taken only a hand full of times before.  At some point, I must have been going a little too fast around a bend in the road and my truck started to lose traction... then the whole world slowed down... I could feel the heavy truck start to slide on the icy road, I smelled the wood chips and my coffee all at once, I felt the tug of the seat belt across my chest and just saw the sight of white everywhere (from snow that is).  As the truck slid to the left and headed off the road, it felt like it was taking forever to come to a stop...until it did...against a tree. The impact shattered the back window, buckled the passenger side door and bent the bed of the truck. Then time sped  back up again, or maybe it was my heart rate!  Luckily, I was fine. I was able to call Ramiah and tell him what happened and thank God, no one else was with me!

I am a little sore, my whole side of my body is stiff from the impact but more than anything I am shaken up but what could have been.  I wish I was a religious person and could state that there was some divine intervention, that there must be some purpose for me to be still alive. I would like to think that if i had had Walker and Sawyer in the car then I would have been driving more carefully but honestly that's not true either  If I stay caught up in the what ifs, I will certainly give myself a panic attack!

My other thought, though goes back to those delayed seconds in time... is that what it is like when death is at your door? Does time slow down right before you are taken away from this world? and if so, does your mind know it? does it take in everything to create those memories of this world? does it even make a difference because after all, you are dead?

Maybe this is a little too deep for my second cup of coffee...


Courtney said...

Yikes!! I am glad you are ok!!!

And yes, it's far too deep for only my second cup of coffee! Ha. I'll come read it again when I've got all my brain power revved up!

Jennifer Thayer said...

Wow! Glad you're okay! Life makes you think especially during those quick seconds in time when the outcome could have been so much worse.