Scratch, scratch

This July will mark the seventh year that I quit my full time job in corporate America to return to school.  I guess you could say I have the seven year itch!  I am itching to get on with my career goals, itching to experience how such a monumental decision can really impact my life. 

It wasn't an easy choice, I had a good paying job in which I had been at for almost eight years.  I was comfortable but I knew something was missing.  Sure I had determination and drive, but the path that lay in front of me did not fit into the view I had of myself. I didn't like who I was becoming. 

After some serious soul searching, I put in my notice and begged my father for a job bartending.  I knew that with school and two children, I needed to make the most amount of money in the least amount of time.  It fit the bill for the next three years.

But then life happens.

Today, I am back in grad school. I am hoping that my gaining more educational credentials I will be able to get in the door at a non-profit organization.  I am hoping to find one that serves the community and implements education in some form. This may sound all well in good but I can't find a job.  My issue now is that its been 7 years since I've had a full time job, so the gap in my working history is huge.  I am in a swampy mess.  My resume for corporate America is dusty and my "new" ambitions aren't evident.  I've been advised to volunteer at an organization that I feel strongly about, but haven't figured out how to put more hours in my week to be able to do so.

So here I sit, with a rash that is spreading... scratch, scratch......

Orgasm Inc.

Last night I had the pleasure of viewing a documentary showing of Orgasm Inc.  by Planned Parenthood of the Hudson Valley. I wasn't especially sure what to expect, but since my dream job would be working for the organization I figured it would be a good opportunity to make some contacts and learn a few things.  I dragged a few of my friends there with promises of soft porn, plus it was free.

The documentary took nine years to put together and began as an editing assignment.  The assignment was to make a soft porn video for women to watch in order to track their sexual response while using an experimental cream for Female Sexual Dysfunction. It evolved into a video questioning the exploitation of women's sexuality and the direct link to corporate pharmaceutical greed. 

Without ruing the movie, because I think it is something that any woman or man should really watch, I have a few keys points that I took away from it.

• It is discerning that the drug companies in the United States must first characterize a disease in order to market the drug for it.  This puts the control in the hands of those that are guaranteed to profit from it.
• Statistics are used to mislead people either by exaggeration or omission.
• The increase of clinics in the United States that preform labia reconstruction surgery is a testament to the continuous need of American women to fit the "perfect" mold of beauty. And the price tag associated with it, also keeps the economically advantaged in control of that image.
• Women, overall, are still unaware of their own body and clueless as to what "normal" is. 
• Society still has a need to pop a "pill" in order to cure all problems as opposed to becoming more educated and open.

Please take the time to check out the film's web site here.

Trading down

Yes, I did it, I traded out my mommy mobile to a college junker.


This is what I traded:
Leather heated seats  for  stained cushions , manual adjustments
Power windows with child proof locks for roll ups
Sun roof for sun spots
Hard drive CD Disk player  for AM/FM cassette player
Locking key mechanism for two keys with blue duct tape on them.
Oil changes needed every 3,000 miles for possible front end repairs needed.

But its paid for, its 1/3 of the insurance cost and by September it will have paid for itself.

All I kept thinking was a Dr. Phil mantra "get what you can pay for".  So this is it....

Its a cool blue though right? Matches sweet with my dancing bears and my peace sign stickers. :O) so what if its from the year I graduated high school (now I am feeling really old!)






 

Just had to share this....

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist.

Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the top musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written,with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats average $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station

was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty?

Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be: If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

Magic Cards

Yesterday I stopped at Rite Aid to get a few things for this horrible cold that is taking over my body.  At the counter they had a display of Easter candy and my all time weakness are those little Cadbury eggs. I just can't help myself when they come out!  The sign above them said, buy 1 get 1 free, so of course this gave me permission to indulge. (In my head of course!) As I checked out the clerk asked me, "do you have your savings card?".  I had to stop and think, and knew that this was one of the few stores that I actually did not have a savings card for. The eggs were only at that price for card members so she wanted to know if I still wanted them.  Of course this was a trick, they were already on the counter, they were already part of my 3 o'clock coffee plan for later, so "yes, I will still take them", I replied.  She gave me a card member form and suggested I fill it out because they have a lot of savings only with the card. I put it in my bag and am now staring at it on my table.

I'm a little annoyed!  I must admit.  I have tons of savings cards that I have to use on a weekly basis.  There are several for the grocery stores, one for the office supply store, the baby toy store, the cosmetic store, the pet supply store and a few others I'm not quite sure why I have.  I literally carry a small purse just for the discount cards!  This is ridiculous!  Obviously I shop at these places, why do I have to carry a "special savings card"  just to prove that I am worthy of their discounts? I understand that its marketing, and gives them the ability to save money (the stores that it) for us schmucks who still buy the Cadbury eggs at the usual price instead of the "savings card" price just because we forgot or don't have the magic card! I think I am  going to boycott the whole card thing.  My purse weighs ten pounds just from the mandatory things I have to carry that getting rid of these cards would lighten my load... a little.... unfortunately, my wallet will be lighter too.....

Eat, Pray Love

Its been a full week since I finished reading, Eat, Pray, Love.  I had not been familiar with the book until my friend Courtney suggested we go see the movie.  Then I found out it was a book, and when I happened to run into her in the library and she told me I could find it in the biography section, I figured I would read it first.

The reason I have waited to blog about the book is because I wanted to be sure that I felt the same way about the book after I processed it.  While reading the book I was enthralled!  I wanted to jump inside the pages and yell "me too, me too!". I wanted to underline passages and mark additional comments in the margins, but it was a library book after all.  So I went on Amazon and bought myself a copy!  I think this clearly puts me in the nerdy category but hey, that's okay!

I am not a religious person, but I do consider myself a spiritual being.  What I believe in depends on the day and my mood, but the underlying moral comes back to myself, and being  my own guiding force. This book really got me to thinking about how does one go about finding God? I can't just pack up and spend three months in any one place, heck, I can't pack up and spend three days!  Does the journey have to involve the travel or can I do so on my own, in my own world?  I believe I could but truly understand that by removing myself from my daily life and responsibilities I would be able to focus just on myself.  I just don't see that happening anytime soon.

So I must be patient, and understand that I will find God, when I am ready to.

Tonight we are going to see the movie, I hope its 1/8th as good as the book.  It also helps that Julia Roberts is the star and I absolutely adore her!!!

Happy Birthday Walker!

Today is Walker's second birthday. With my older boys I have a tradition of telling them the story of their birth before bed the night before. I realized this morning that I didn't get that chance, so I thought I would blog here about it.

My pregnancy with Walker was planned. Maybe a little too planned. Ramiah and I were married on 12/31 and we began trying in Feb and March. I wanted to try and calculate his birth in between semesters, since I was planning on returning and getting my Masters in the fall. Well, since our family is full of fertile myrtles, I was pregnant sooner that we thought. The pregnancy went well. No major complications just the annoyance of gestational diabetes that I controlled with my diet.

The due date was 11/25/07. I was pretty excited and so was Ramiah. This was his first child and first pregnancy! We marveled at how my body changed, and enjoyed all of it! As the due date came closer I began to be more anxious. I wanted to have a completely natural childbirth and was preparing with Lamaze classes and essential oils.

The week of thanksgiving my doctor told me that she would not let me go much past my due date because of the diabetes. But she was fully aware of my feelings for keeping things natural so i convinced her to let me try my own holistic processes.

On Monday November 26th, I was still pregnant. I was ready to have this baby!!! I went to visit my ob/gyn and convinced her to strip my membranes and then she sent Ramiah and I home with strict instructions for nipple stimulation for an hour. Needless to say Ramiah was quite excited, (me... not so much) On our way home I started feeling some cramps, but decided to follow through with the Dr's orders and maybe get in a nap! The nap never came, because after just a half hour of nipple stimulation I was having contractions!! I got up and put everything in order to go to the hospital but never checked to see the timing of them. By the time my older boys got home from school and left with their dad i thought maybe I should time my contractions. They were 2 mins apart!!!

When we got to the hospital I was very uncomfortable but still determined to trust my Lamaze and oils to help me through it. My mother and sister were also there to support me! I was checked in at 5:30 and Walker was born at 7:35pm!!

If I were your son

If I were your son, would you have taught me how to drive?
would you have shown me how to change a tire or check my oil?
If I were your son, would you have shown me how to tie my line?
would you have let me come on one of your many fishing trips?
If I were your son, would you buy me a beer?
would you play me in pool and think it was fair competition?
If I were your son, would you sit down and talk politics
would you listen to my ideas and not think my views as frivolous?
If I were your son, would you ask me about my day?
would you remember where i worked and what i did for a paycheck?
If I were your son, would you invite me for a round of golf?
would you show me how to drive and work on my swing?
If I were your son, would you tell me your are proud?
would you pat me on the shoulder and smile?
would you tell me that you love me?
would you know who i really was?
would you reconginize yourself in me?
would you understand how important you are to me?
how much I want a relationship with you
how eager i am to please you after all these years?
If I were your son, I wouldn't be your daughter.