About Me

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I am a mother of three boys and one girl, my youngest son Walker is developmentally delayed with no diagnosis, I am divorced and re-married, living life as I never imagined. I may be cynical, but I try to see the world as it is.... no frills but plenty of laughs.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Space and time

I am not one to whine.. or at least I don't like to think so. I find myself mad at the world and mad at the injustices of being a stay at home mom! This past week has been very difficult. Mr. Mr. was sick and therefore, my days and nights were exhausting. Since he can't communciate effectively, it was a guessing game with each scream. He has learned a few and therefore through trial and error, so have I.

There is the pay attention to me scream, the happy life is good scream, and the new one which can only be explained by the look on his face, which tells me... why aren't you fixing it??? scream.

All of this frustration was felt throughout the house. Not only by him, and by me, but my older children as well. There are times when I really worry about how they are handling it. He is demanding and his new baby sister is too. Was it fair for me to bring another child into the home? I try to carve out one on one time with each of them throughout the day, but its difficult since I can't really tell the younger two, to wait their turn. My husband has even become needier it seems.

I'm just trying to find some time and space for myself, without guilt.

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