Not far from the tree

Things my mother did, that I find myself now doing as well:

1. using a flash light to look in my pantry closet
2. putting random children's things on the stairs to their room
3. using rubber bands as cabinet child proof devices
4. throwing shoes up the stairs to my children's room
5. composting
6. singing orders to my children instead of yelling

I guess it could be worse!
Love you mom!

Pretty Woman

Tomorrow I am hosting a Happy to be me party, which actually means, its a happy to be you party.  And okay, so i am not exactly hosting it, Dress Barn is. But I am very excited.  What is it you ask? Its two hours of having the entire store to ourselves to try on everything and anything we could dream of.  It reminds me of that scene in Pretty Woman after Julia Robers is shunned in a store and the rich guy takes her back and makes the sales associates grovel and pamper her.  Okay, so maybe that isn't exactly what will happen, but it will be a good day. 

I have come to a  place in my life currently that my weight is not getting any lower and I don't see a real diet or new exercise regimen in my near future.  The problem is that my closet is full of clothes one size too small, and there fore I am squeezing myself into these clothes which are not really fitting me well which just makes me more upset. So I have come to a point where I want to be happy being me, and therefore deserve clothes that fit me well and look great. Oh and did I mention that I get a great discount too???

The face of PPD

Its been a struggle, these days I have been on an emotional roller coaster (my posts certainly reflect this!) but the truth be told, I am the face of PPD, yup, I said the secret words....  postpartum depression.  After having my first two children, I was faced with a bad marriage and overwhelming feelings of panic.  I didn't initially recognize the signs and would suffer from panic attacks.  Once I was diagnosed and put on medication I was able to learn coping techniques and what my triggers were. After 18 months on medication I weaned myself off successfully. 

After having Walker i began having similar symptoms (for a list of signs click here)  But this time I was armed with the knowledge and sought out help immediatelty. Since my husband and I knew we wanted to have another child my doctor and I decided that I would just stay on the medication instead of going off and on.  Although the medication helps, I hate the fact that I have to be "on" something.  The medication makes me feel so good that two months ago I decided to wean myself off of it.   For the first month, I felt good, I would sense small amounts of anxiety but felt that my other coping mechanisms were handling them well.  ( Mediation, essential oils and visual imagery) but about three weeks ago, I felt my emotions start to spin out of control.  I was angry all the time, i had little if any patience with my older boys and I would just cry randomly throughout the day. 

There is just something inside me that wants to believe that I don't need medication.,  That there must be some natural way for me to deal with this so I headed over to my local natural food store.  Sure there are tons of natural products that help alleviate depression, but since they are not FDA regulated, no one would assure me that taking them while breast feeding would be safe. And I am not about to put miss poo at risk so my next stop was the homeopath I had previously taken Walker to.  She met with me and feels that I have a lot of food sensitivities that once they are addressed the depression will disappear.  Now this makes sense to me in theory! However, what do I do in the mean time?

Last Friday I found myself sitting in a parking lot with an ice cream cone and just crying.  I realized at that point that I really need to cut myself a break.  If someone I knew and loved had a serious health issue and needed to take the medication, I would be upset with them if they didn't.  So why was I being so critical of myself? Like I said, I needed to cut myself a break!  So day 5 of being back on my PPD meds and I feel a whole lot better.  Who said this had to be for the rest of my life? and if so, so what?

I want to break the stigma... the secrecy behind PPD.  I am the face of it... see my smile?

Wtth a capital T

She thinks Walker's chair tastes so good!!!

 She has no respect of personal space!

 And everything is here for her amusement!

Meet Miss TROUBLE

Simple things

I must admit, that I am quite proud of myself!  These days funds are tight so I have been really putting an effort into finding uses for items that I have around the house. The more creative I am, the better I feel about spending money on other things!  It's like I have a ledger in my head.  If I saved $2.00 on not purchasing something, than I have $2.00 for something else. Okay, so maybe its not the best plan, but I'm a work in progress after all!

So back to my excitement, today I was hanging out laundry on my newly hung laundry line, when I realized that my line was starting to hang, lower and lower due to the weight of the clothes and the height of the line.   As we can all agree, clean clothes hanging in the dirt just defeats the purpose!  So I went and grabbed some links.  These toys were not around for my older boys, and I never really understood their purpose for Walker since he still doesn't reach up and grab toys, but with Sawyer I have begun to use them for so many things!

I've used these for hanging grocery bags from the stroller, keeping binkey's attached to Walker, pulling up zippers on snow suits and now, I am using them to keep my clothes line together!

It really is the simple things in life!!

Moms that teach me!

With Mother's Day I have been reflecting what kind of mother I am, with that I have been thinking a lot about all the mom's in my life that I have met in the past or know currently that make me want to be a great mom just like them!

Mom 1 - This woman has been a single mom for a long time.  She works hard and adores her only daughter.  She has provided a stable and loving home for her, and encourages her to excel in everything that she does.  She has taught me the stability of motherhood. 

Mom 2- This woman raised several children, and although she wasn't a perfect mom, she continued to search for a better way of life for herself and them.  She has taught me the hope of motherhood.

Mom 3 - A single mom who has a teenage son and they have an open and honest relationship.  This woman has been through so much, mentally and physically yet still has the ability to believe in a higher power and has taught her son what that is worth.  She has taught me the faith of motherhood.

Mom 4 -  A married mother of three who had many unexpected turns in life.  She has raised them to be polite, loving people who are a joy to be around.  She stands her ground when necessary and holds true to her word.  She has taught me the strength of motherhood.

Mom 5 - A married mother of two, who is teaching her children the importance of protecting our earth and ourselves.  She goes against modern life and chooses to be engaged with her children by home schooling, and providing them with a natural home.  She has taught me the ingenuity of motherhood.

Mom 6 - A single mom of two. She is the most natural parent I have ever met. Her children enjoy the freedom of being who they want to me at every moment of every day without the restrictions of societies expectations.  She has taught me the playfulness of motherhood.

Mom 7 - A married mother of four, she is the energizer bunny!  She home schools, volunteers and works outside the home.  She is even opening her home up to others in order to proved them with the security and  comfort her family has.  She has taught me the generosity of motherhood.

Mom 8 - A married mother of four, who juggled motherhood, a career and a marriage, long before it was cool. She raised four daughters to believe in themselves, and always take on the next challenge of life.  She has taught me the courage of motherhood.

Mom 9 - A married mother of two, once of which has special needs. She is informed and educated about her child's needs.  She is outspoken for both of her children.  She has taught the advocacy of motherhood. 

To all mothers that I meet, whether its in the grocery store, on the ball field or in the office, I am your student. 

Happy Mother's Day!

Tickling toes