Unpaid overtime

I love my job, I enjoy getting out of the house, being social and working in a great store that sells amazing things.  Its no secret that its also my haven to get away from life at home for 15 hours a week!  Some days, though I have to wonder if its worth it!

I've also confessed that I am not a good housekeeper either, but after being away from the house all day, the last thing I want to do when I get home is clean up after everyone that has been home!

Sure, no one can attend to my children's needs like me, or anticipate the messes that may come, but there are a few people ( specifically the one wearing a matching ring on his left hand) that should be aware that if you can't walk through our living room/ bedroom, maybe someone should pick it up.  I just forget that that someone is ....me.

If I worked full time, my children would most likely be at a child care facility and no one would be home all day to make messes, or if I had someone here at my house I would expect them to do some minimal cleaning up after one Poonado. Instead, I am on double time.  Taking care of all the things I do in a full day at home, in just a few short hours before bed.  Yup, I am pooped! 

Mrs. Fix it

 

The stare down

For over two months my washing machine has only operated on the hot cycle.  This is okay for the baby stuff and the towels but those of you who do more than one load a year, will know that hot is NOT good for the dark stuff!  Three weeks ago I opened my front loader to find that a red velor shirt had bleed through everything.  So now I had pink tags and poor Walker's jeans had pink thread lining them.  The other issues are that a few of my newer items had shrunk since the last time I wore them  (and I know I've added a few holiday pounds but NOT that many!!)

I found it!

So I have become one of those nagging wives.  My husband builds car engines, I figured he could easily figure this out! but figuring it out and actually doing it are two different things!

Two weeks ago, when I basically threw a fit in my kitchen, he told me to go on line and get the diagram for the machine because he wasn't familiar with how they work.  So I did.  Then I called the local appliance center to see if there was a sensor that told the machine hot or cold, that maybe needed to be replaced.  The gentleman in parts at Michael's repair center was really helpful. He explained that this machine did not have a sensor and that with the hard water that  most homes have in the area it was probably just a clogged screen.

Wednesday night after waiting, and waiting (and two glasses of Reisling) I figured "how hard could it be?" With the help of Uncle Ricky to occupy the kiddos, I went to work. So I took out my tool box (yes, I have one, and No, it's not pink!) and took apart the water hoses and the back.  It really wasn't hard, I was able to locate the intake screens and they were all clogged up, easily fixed.

Just as I was putting everything back together the hubby came home.  He laughed and said he was going to fix that tonight!  Ha! 

Clothes washer is working correctly, I know know what to do in the future, and saved myself some bucks in the long run!

Score for me!

Underwater

One of the many hats that I wear around here is accountant for my husbands tree business.  (Yes, I do do more than work on my tan!) The problem is, I hate accounting!  For 8 years I worked in cooperate America, managing a treasury department with a large staff.  cash management department.  I worked my way up from reception and was very good at what I did, I just grew tired of the hamster wheel, I was perpetually on.  The work was never caught up, the staff and I were underpaid and to top it off the company hired a really masochistic CEO. (I don't use that term lightly, shortly after I left the company he moved on to another job where he was fired for anger management issues)

Needless to say it left a sour taste in my mouth so when  it comes to doing the "books" for our company, I  post pone it as long as possible.  Now, add all the rest that's on my plate and guess what? I haven't posted a journal entry since the end of the year, and actually I still haven't finished last years p & l.  With the summer coming, and all the children home, I feel that it is hopeless.

When I feel that something is hopeless, then I will procrastinate even more!

Exactly how much jail time is extortion to the IRS?

Simple things

I must admit, that I am quite proud of myself!  These days funds are tight so I have been really putting an effort into finding uses for items that I have around the house. The more creative I am, the better I feel about spending money on other things!  It's like I have a ledger in my head.  If I saved $2.00 on not purchasing something, than I have $2.00 for something else. Okay, so maybe its not the best plan, but I'm a work in progress after all!

So back to my excitement, today I was hanging out laundry on my newly hung laundry line, when I realized that my line was starting to hang, lower and lower due to the weight of the clothes and the height of the line.   As we can all agree, clean clothes hanging in the dirt just defeats the purpose!  So I went and grabbed some links.  These toys were not around for my older boys, and I never really understood their purpose for Walker since he still doesn't reach up and grab toys, but with Sawyer I have begun to use them for so many things!

I've used these for hanging grocery bags from the stroller, keeping binkey's attached to Walker, pulling up zippers on snow suits and now, I am using them to keep my clothes line together!

It really is the simple things in life!!

Polygamists are on to something!

I know today is Valentines day and all, and that one of my latest posts was a love post for my husband, but one thing I am learning about married life, especially married life with children,  is that there are good days and bad days.  For me, little sleep usually equates to a lost of patience, which means that I get overly aggravated with my husband and his absence from home.  I thought I wanted to re post an old blog Applications being accepted but figured that wasn't exactly right.  I don't think I want my own wife, I just need a few more.  Maybe those polygamists are on to something!
Wife A - must have BA in education to help with homework, chores and science projects
Wife B - in charge of housework, meal planning and grocery shopping
Wife C - nurse maid
Wife D - sex slave
Wife F - Special Ed instructor

That would  be a good start anyways... maybe then I could catch some ZZZZs... and a movie!

Simple Things

In honor of Valentines Day and the Crazyhipbloggers I thought i would list out the top ten Simple Things my husband does to show his love for me!

1. Ben and Jerry's - he brings me home my favorite ice cream when  I've had a rough day!
2. He kisses me everytime he comes in the door and each time before he leaves.. even if he is just taking out the garbage.
3. He moves the truck closer to the house so I don't have to carry both babies out in the snow a long way.
4. He will leave me notes around the house to tell me he loves me.
5. He lets me have the last glass of milk, the last cookie or the last scoop of pototoes.
6. He lets me scratch off all of his instant lottery tickets.
7. He calls me in the middle of the day to say he loves me and see how my day is going.
8. He covers me up at night with extra blankets when it it cold.
9. He shaved my legs for me last summer when I was too pregnant to reach my legs!
10. He cuts up my meat at dinner when my hands are too full with babies, so that I can eat too.

All of these things are simple but they add up to one great guy! Yes, I am lucky and yes, I am spoiled!!

Missing Pieces

"Of all the things I've lost, its my mind I miss the most"- this saying has been hanging in my mothers kitchen for as long as I remember! I've always liked it, but up until recently, I never truly appreciated it!

My Missing Pieces, (the Crazy Hip Bloggers Write out loud topic) is my mind.. or brain cells for that matter.

 It is a chain reaction, starting in the womb.  After four children and approximaetly two and a half years without getting more than a few hours of sleep my brain is shot!  It causes me to call my children by each others names, to move into a room and forget what I was doing in there in the first place,  and even forget to pull something out for dinner more than 2x a week. 

The chain reactions follows: "whats the word for that thing that is in your room that you sleep in? - yeah Bed, thats right!  well go and vacumm it. I mean make it!  Did anyone put Sawyer out on her leash?  Please pack your suitcases for school,  we only have 15 hours to get out the door!! 

All of this before 9am!

There are other things that go missing too: my sense of humor, appointments, whole boxes of Oreo cookies and my sex drive.

So yes, I miss it...and my husband does too!

You spin me round round baby

As I sit here writing this my head is spinning. I'm anxious and nervous!! Our current living situation is in the process of being taken away from us. We don't know exactly when. Estimates are worst case scenario is 90 days, best case is 6 months. Knowing this is making me crazy! I am not the type to sit by and wait it out! I have too much to worry about with my childrens needs. It would be different if it was just my husband and I , but its not. Yesterday I looked at a house that seems to meet all of our needs! My husband didn't get out of the car because he was uncomfortable looking through another persons stuff (the current tenants are still there). He feels that I am jumping the gun. I don't think so. He is the type to put his head in the sand and will wait until they pack our stuff and throw us out on the lawn! I can't live like that! So how do I convince him that this is the right move? Or do I just tell him this is what we are doing? He cannot stand change, so I know that is the biggest obstacle for him. But if all the pieces are right, why not do it? I just want to get on with my life and know what we are doing! I can't stand LIMBO!!!

Sunday drive

Today while driving with my husband, as we do every Sunday, our conversation turned to Walker. We usually talk about the daily stuff, what he ate, how much he slept or pooped etc. but something in me today had to divulge my inner fears. My husband said what a happy boy he is, and I questioned that.

Is that something we just tell ourselves and others to ease the pain of the unknown? As in our conversation when explaining his condition, we always add "but he is a happy baby". But really how much is he happy? These days it feels like we have good days and bad days. A friend of mine asked, if we were sure he did not pain. I don't know. How could one test for that anyways? Since he is unable to communicate with us directly, how would we ever know? Is he unhappy because he doesn't feel good? or because he is frustrated with not being able to tell us what he wants or needs?

To me that is the scariest part! I can handle if he never walks, runs or crawls. But how can he go through life without communicating? The unknown is the scariest part! The guessing, the foreshadowing of the unknown.

We don't talk of it much, instead we try to stay positive and my husband held my hand as I wiped my tears and told me that he will be okay. I know he is just as scared as I am. I know that he wants to comfort me, but doesn't quite know how. Neither of us know what lies ahead. But I am happy we are together. I couldn't imagine going through this with anyone else by my side.

Applications being accepted

Applications are currently being accepted for the following position:

Wife

Duties include but are not limited to: able to plan meals, shop and prepare for them, ensure laundry is done, washed and folded, socks matching is optional, get the mail, pay the bills, and know how much money is in the bank account at 3am when I can't sleep, must be able to schedule and attend all doctors, dentist and teacher appointments, should sweep and wash all floors, including behind the toilet even though only the male population in the house messes that up, should be able to walk the dog, clean the cat litter box and replace dead goldfish before the children find out, keep inventory of the pantry, freezer, refrigerator and medicine cabinet, know how to program the tv remote and the coffee maker, remember birthdays and anniversary's and call all relatives including my side of the family, be able to mow the lawn when the children are lost in the back yard, and clean up dog poop, fix the dryer and any other appliance in the house or know the phone number of someone who can.

We are an Equal Opportunity Employer, please submit applications to the attention of: I want my own wife, 2620 County Route 1, Port Jerivs, NY 12771

Help Wanted

I have these days when I am so motivated to do everything! From cooking a really great meal, to cleaning, to paying bills, to spending serious quality time with the kids. Then life happens.... I need to give myself a break. I wish I could be one of those super organized people who have a schedule for their day. Do SAHM really do that? If so, I need help! Can I hire someone to assist me in this?

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to...

Another year and I still get dissappointed. One would think by now I would be over it! I expect it, but that doesn't soften the blow. I'm done explaining it, I'm done pretending I'm fine with it. But the question now is, what can i do about it anyways? I cried and then I bought my own damm flowers. I thought about dumping my kids off and running away. Pumping breast milk and saying "see ya". I do have the ATM card!! No one could trace me, just go and find a nice hotel with room service.... close the shades. order a pay per view movie and sleep!! Now that would be a great birthday!!! Delusional I know! Eventually I would have to come home, and no one would be happy with me!! So, here I sit, feeling sorry for myself.... I'm not looking for condolences, heck, only a couple of people read this anyways!!! LOL! Just venting....

you would cry to, if it happened to you!

Maybe its the baby blues talking

Five days ago, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. I wasn't sure what was more surprising, that she was a girl, or that she had a head full of dark hair!! Either way, it took a few days to sink in and now as I get to go through pink and purple clothes. This is how the other half lives??? Yet, in order to store the new ones coming through the door I set out for the task of dividing out the boys clothes that I had kept and finding them new homes. Part of me, however, is a little skeptical. Yes, you heard me, skeptical. I know, I know, this new baby is #4 for me, however, she is only #2 for my husband, the love of my life. Our first child is a boy, and he is warm, affectionate and a comedian. Never mind that he doesn't talk, or crawl or sit up. He is entertaining and loves life!! But the fact is that this may be all he ever is, and now with a daughter, my husband may never get that feeling of going fishing with his "son" or shooting that first deer together. Sure there is no doubt that his daughter will more than plenty make up for it, and I don't even know if he would miss it, but there is that little part of me, that wants that for him! That, wants to be able to give that to him. I guess its just the baby blues talking....

Living with the Grinch

About three years ago Christmas truly lost its magic for me. I guess that is because I moved in with the Grinch! Yes, he is big, furry and green.... most days anyway! I understand that its not his thing. How do you get someone excited about the magic of Christmas who never had Christmas? Let's face it. As parents and adults, our excitement is guided by the wonderful memories of children. The hopes and dreams of what could be under that Christmas tree! Anything was possible, as long as you were good! So for someone who never had that excitement as a child, all he sees is the greediness and waste of Christmas. I guess this is beginning to wear off on me. I am no longer excited to get up Christmas morning and open my presents.. (he does purchase things for me, but its just not the same!) I even have little patience for my children's wanting and wishing... even though they are just being kids, kids at christmas! So this year, when my middle guy was in tears because he would rather be with his father christmas morning, i said Okay. It actually will make more sense for everyone. Their father is a big kid anyways. They get up at 4 in the morning to open presents and then all sit around until they pass out amongst the rubble. Of course, that is much more fun! Does that make me a bad mom or a bad Christian? I just have accepted that my other children will never really, truly enjoy Christmas they way that I remember it to have been. Sad? maybe a little. But hey, doesn't the Grinch eventually bring back the Christmas tree?

Rollercoaster night

6pm - Buy tickets for the roller coaster ride "Waiting for the husband" - stand in line for the ride... Yeah! I meet the height requirements!
6:30 - tell the boys to only set the table for three place settings... looks like he's working late
7pm- get in the very first car and click in the seat belt... check to be sure its nice and tight. avoid direct eye contact with the dingy carnie operating the ride
7:30 - bake cookies, so that they are warm and fresh when he gets home
8:00 - a steady incline up the first hill...while thinking... how long does it actually take to deliver wood?
8;30 - children are brushing their teeth.... house will soon be quiet... yeeee....down the hill we go! maybe I'll have a glass of wine and put on something sexy....
9:00 - hmm those cookies look good, i guess i'll have few while i wait
9:30 - ok, now i am pissed! heading up this incline of a ride... yet again!! check cell phone to insure that i didn't miss the call or text
10:00 - all out mad!! but screw this.. i'm going to bed.. my stomach doesn't feel so good.
10:05 - lay in bed and hit all the up and down little hills of this ride...
jerk!, what if he is in the ditch?, how inconsiderate of him not to call, it's a little icy out there... he would have at least responded to my texts by now. must be nice to do as you please!, what if he got pulled over and in jail? I must not be all that important anymore! Wouldn't you feel like crap if something is actually wrong?

10:08 - call his cell phone, it goes to voice mail..up the hill i go
10:09 - call his brothers phone... man! why am i doing this?
10:10 - friend calls, to say that he is okay, and that they saw me call.... asks if i want to talk to him
Tell him, no, if he wanted to talk to me, he would have called.
10:11 - PIssed off at self for having worried and then called
10:15 - Get off of ride.......