Day 22: What's in your purse?

It seems that the law of purse attraction is that whatever size purse you carry it will be full!

Not long ago I downsized to a smaller purse.  Prior I was carrying around diapers, juice boxes, pokemon cards, you name it.  I was tired of being the pack horse so by downsizing I've cut back the amount I carry and my back pain!

I'm not about name brand, or color.  Its only about functionality!  It has to zip closed, otherwise when I stop short in the car all my crap is lost on the floor!  It has to have a small compartment to put my cell phone so that I can find it in a hurry and not dig though endless receipts to answer a call.

My must haves to carry are my pocket calendar, my check book, my wallet and my oils.  I carry about ten different essential oils at any given time.  I have three little mini purses as well, one for all those dam "discount" cards, and one for my stones. Currently my purse is exploding with receipts. So many, that each time I open the darn thing they are falling out on the floor! I have to keep track of all of Mr's expenses so each receipts is saved and once a month or so I collect them all and record them.  I think I am over due!

I'm about ready to downsize even further, but there is this fear that if i have less space I am sure to forget something and when I need it I won't have it!  Maybe I should just let go and carry a wallet!  But wait, I don't always have pockets!  Dam it!

Day 21: Something you could never get tired of doing

So many things to chose from......  I think that I try to enjoy so much of my life that there are many moments that I appreciate and could never get tired of doing..... 

• blowing raspberries on Walker's belly to make him laugh, 
• smelling Sawyer's hair when she is fresh out of the shower,
• playing in summer rain
• getting random hugs from Dylan,
• singing in the car
• watching Mason and Sawyer hold hands,
• jumping on the trampoline, 
• brewing coffee for when my sister's come over, 
• stopping on the side of the road to pick wild flowers, 
• wrapping presents,
• eating my sisters homemade chocolate chip cookies
• laying in the grass and watching the clouds

Each day, I try to remember the little moments. Its these things that make the stress of normal life bearable. Live in the moment, be in the moment.

What are some of the things you would never tire of?

Day 20: Nicknames you have

All my life I've hated my name because there was no other form in which I could change it to.  Jill, just plain Jill.  Not Jillian. I repeat NOT Jillian.  I had a 6th grade teacher, whom I loathed, who insisted on calling me Jillian.  When my mother showed up for the parent teacher conference and she called me that, my mother informed her that " her name is Jill, if i wanted you to call her Jillian I would have named her Jillian".  I think that is when my mother became my hero instead of my enemy. 

Another name has crept up time and again in my life. It pops up with new people who never knew I had them to begin with.  Jilly Bean, is a common one.  Otherwise, its mom, mamma.  So far, my two year old doesn't realize that I have another name, she just adds my last name to mamma.  (pretty cute)

Then there are the nicknames that I try to get people to call me but they just don't stick: My Queen, or Mi Rena (spanish version), sex kitten, Coolest Mom... but I keep trying!

Day 19: Something you miss

As my 36th birthday quickly approaches I have really begun to notice the affects of aging on my body .  Sure I've had some grey hair, and maybe a laugh line or too, no big deal right? But i've begun to notice other things that are aging as well.  Take my hands for example. They have the battle scars of kitchen accidents, and knuckle cracking. My feet also show signs of many miles that they have walked. Even my thieghs show signs of aging from the many pounds lost and gained, to be lost again.  Mostly though, I miss my perfect B cup breasts.

yup, I said it!  After breastfeeding four children and ample pounds lost and gained to be lost again, they aren't quite the perky perfection of my youth!  On top of missing their actual physical appearance, I missed the opportunity to show them off to the world when i did have them!  Call it my secret exhibitionist but there's something tantalizing about wearing a perfectly white t-shirt braless that I will never be able to enjoy!  When I did have the body that i miss, i was to busy being modest and shy. Not wanting people to judge me based on my appearance.  Now that those possibilities are gone, I miss them. Sure you can say plastic surgery is still out there, but really..... I'm not that vain!

Day 18: Favorite Place to Eat

I love food, all kinds of food.... fatty fried goodness, steak, sushi, Mexican, Chinese.... you name it I will eat it!  So picking one place that is my favorite is really hard! 

Depending on my company also dictates what place is my favorite.
 
When the "sisters" go out we always go to El Banditos which is a Mexican restaurant in town. They can be a little pricey but with the appetizer, desserts and complimentary shots of tequila, it is sure to be a good time!

When its a family event, we stick to a place that is kid friendly, and has fast service, this equates to a drive through!

For Sunday breakfast we frequent a small town deli on the corner of RT 284 and County Route 1.  The omelets are huge, the service is comical and the price is always right!

My newest place to go for those who are as daring as I am when it comes to food is the new Indian Restaurant in town.  I am still learning the menu and cannot even tell you what it is that I like to eat there, just that it has lentils and is served over rice.

As for a dessert date or light menu for lunch or dinner the place is Something Sweet in downtown.  The atmosphere is casual but the desserts are anything but!  I save all my calorie allowance when going there!

Food is one of my favorite past times, so the list truly could go on and on!  Please feel free to leave me suggestions as I am always willing to try out new places!!

Day 17: Something you're looking forward to

Due to family vacation and Irene this program was temporarily interupted. Back to schedule though:

One thing I am really looking forward to is starting back at school and being a teaching assistant for the Women's Studies department.  The class that I am ta-ing in is Education of Self.  I took this class as an undergrad and it really opened my eyes to the privileges i take for granted being a white middle class woman.   I am especially excited to see other students go through personal changes and become aware of their own selves while working closely with an amazing professor!

Most of the curriculum is about identifying patterns of behavior that one would like to change in themselves, then trying out new models of behavior, analyzing it and then working out a solution. This is a important process to learn and can be used through out life. As a person, I am always wanting to learn and grow and better myself and this class gives students the tools to do such.

Working in the classroom with an experiential based program is also a lot of fun!  Students do many activities that make them think about how they view the world, how they fit and who has made up those rules. Until taking classes as an undergrad at New Paltz, I never knew these types of classes existed!

I wish everyone could take this course, more importantly i wish everyone could see the value in these types of classes, because the world would be a much better place!

Day 16: Dream house

My dream house isn't anything fancy.  I don't want a Mc Mansion, or 2500 sq ft.  I can do without an in ground swimming pool or heck even a paved driveway.

My dream house would be one that has enough bedrooms for all my children and myself to have some sort of privacy. It would be big enough to have a family room or extra living space so that my children can entertain their friends or get out of site.  It would have more than one bathroom and a tub big enough that I could soak and be covered in water. (nothing is worse that taking a bath in ten inches of water!) It would be one floor to make it easier for Walker to get around, and have a room for him that was his bedroom plus OT sensory stuff!

 

My dream house would have a covered porch so that we could sit outside and watch the thunder and lightening storms.  It would have a garage attached to the house so that I could bring the groceries in out of the rain or snow. My dream house would be one that my family and friends felt comfortable in and that I wouldn't mind them stopping by!

Mostly my dream house would be one that is clean!

Day 15: A moment you've felt satisfied with your life

Is there anything else really to say?

Day 14: A picture of you last year - how have you changed?

This picture was taken last summer on our family vacation to Maine.  I dragged Dylan out of the car and made him pose with me under this street sign.  (and I wonder where he gets his sense of humor from!)

How have I changed?
Well, I am about 20 pounds lighter, I've been running three times a week.  I have gotten back into using my essential oils and have limited my anxiety.  I have a little bit more freedom now that my youngest has turned 2 and is becoming increasingly independent.  I have returned to school, and am working again.  All of these surface changes has impacted me tremendously.  I am more self confident, more self assured and overall happier. As I continue finding my path I enjoy looking back and marking these milestones!

Day 13: Goals

What a loaded topic!  Goals are something that I am constantly setting, changing and hopefully achieving.  I feel that I am not doing myself any justice if I don't set goals. Recently a goal I set was running in my first 10k.  I was able to complete it in 1 hour and 7 mins, which is approxiametly a 10:55 min mile.  I was pretty happy with it! 

On a more serious note, as of late I have been struggling with a goal I set for myself seven years ago.  It was a goal to return to school and get my degree and find a more soul full filling career path.  Its really weighing on me that I still haven't completed it.  Sure, life has gotten in the way, two small children a house and marriage.  But I am at the point where I just want to get on with my life!  So, I am returning to grad school this fall, and I am still trying to find an entry level position in a non-profit to get my feet in the door and build some work experience that will coincide with my educational credentials.

In the mean while, today's goal is the get the stack of papers and books next to my bed in some logical order!  With each small goal I set, it allows me to have patience with the larger ones!

Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without

About five years ago I was introduced to the world of essential oils.  No ordinary ones either.  Young Living is a therapeutic grade of essential oils that can be used topically, aromatically and many can even be ingested. Anyone who claims that all oils are the same, has never truly experienced the difference between cheap frankincense and the real deal!

I don't leave home without lavender, frankincense and patchouli.
To learn what these oils have to offer just click on them above!

Day 11: A tv show you're addicted to

We are the anomaly of the 21st century, we are a family that only owns one tv.  Yes, you read that right, 1 TV. I know, I know its hard to conceive but since our house is appropriately 900 sq feet there really seems to be no reason to add more noise than we already have. So the option of having a tv show that I am addicted to is very limited.  We recently added a DVR to our cable package and that has made the world of difference for me.  Not only can I record the shows I like but have become accustomed to watching them sans commercials! 

There is one show that I do actually sit and watch at the time it is aired (this is a BIG deal!) and that is Criminal Minds.  I love the twisted plots, the suspense and the crew of characters!  Its like reading a Steven King novel in an hour!  Perfect!

Penelope is the bomb!  I love her wardrobe and quirky sense of humor, and must admit that I totally crush on Derek Morgan! I know a few friends that I would characterize as Dr. Spencer Reid and like to pretend that I share commonalities with Emily Prentiss.

The ground rules are clear: When the show is on, no talking except for commercials, all child rearing duties are put on hold or passed to the other adults in the house, and repeats are treating with the same respect!

Day 10: Something you're afraid of

I can't say spiders or snakes or any living creature unless of course I was lost in the woods and being stalked by a 600 pound black bear.  No, unfortunately, the things that I fear most live inside my own head! They are the things that keep me up at night, (besides my children) that make me worry about what kind of mother I am, or what the future holds.  I guess one of the biggest fears is what will come of Walker after I am gone? My fear is that his little sister will feel obligated or tied down taking care of her brother.  I fear that she will grow up second fiddle to a brother who has special needs. I fear that he won't be happy, or that my life will somehow be consumed with either the care of him or the guilt for not.

I guess these are the same fears that all parents have.  The fears of their children's future, what it holds and how happy they will be. 

Day 9: A habit you wish you didn't have

There are many habits I wish I didn't have, leaving dirty dishes in the sink instead of putting them in the dishwasher right away, grocery shopping when I am hungry, leaving the mail in my car and forgetting about it, and interruptting people when they talk because I am to excited to share my ideas!

The one big one though that I have carried throughout my life and continue to carry is the habit of procrastination!  I tell people that I work well under pressure but the truth is, I have no choice!  When I have to be out of the house at a certain time, I wait until the last minute to pack the kids bags and lunches.  When I know a birthday is coming up I wait until the last minute to figure out what gift I want to get the person.  When its finals time at school and I have a million papers to write, I find myself rolling spare change!

I wish I could say I have a game plan in order to curb this habit, but the truth is it will have to wait. 

Day 8: A place you've traveled to

Acadia National Park is the last great place I have traveled to. I must admit, I haven't done much traveling and it seems that my bucket list is just getting bigger and bigger.

We only had two days there and it certainly was not enough!  The view from Cadillac mountain was amazing!  We even tried to sneak up there at sunrise but it was too foggy to see it.  The poor kids were sleeping in the car while I awaited patiently on the rock ledge to get a great shot that never manifested. It sparks my interest in National Parks and have decided that each year I will take the kids someplace new to see.

 
In the meantime, this is the perfect place to have a nice hot cup of coffee!

Day 7: Favorite movie

This is a hard one.  It really depends on my mood! But my all time favorite movie which indicates my propensity for romance and music to be mixed is Dirty Dancing.

Specifically this scene:

Click here to enjoy it too!


Which of course makes it difficult really for any man to live up to my expectations in romance!

Day 6: A picture of you as a baby

I am technically a day behind... sorry....

Day 5: A song to match your mood today

Day 4: Your parents or siblings

I am the second oldest of four daughters but we are all very spread out.  There is five years between myself and the oldest, then the next one is seven years younger than I and the baby is 11 years younger.  That is a span of 16 years between us.  Growing up I wasn't very close with any of them.  I idolized Amy, my older sister, tormented her by stealing all of her things and just wanted to be just like her.  When Rebecca came along I felt slighted and she got the brunt of my frustrations.  Honestly, I wasn't very nice to her and it wasn't her fault!  Kimberly, the baby sister, was the apple of my eye and was a toddler during my the year that I got my first camera.  As a budding photographer she was the subject of rolls and rolls of film!

As we aged and moved out of the house, my older sister and I became very close.  We even lived next door to each other during a very tumultuous  period in both of our lives and we were the glue that kept each other together. 

The event that truly pulled all four of us together as a unit was our trip to Jamaica!  It was the first time that all four us were together for an extended length of time as adults.  We tagged ourselves the "fabulous four".

Since that vacation we have all drifted in and out of each others lives depending on the obstacles we each are facing.  We all have different attributes that we bring to the table and the dynamics shift based on those.  I know that in the future things will shift again, but the four of us are together, as blood and as sisters.

Day 3: Your first love

Yes, my first love has been and will always be, chocolate.  Milk chocolate. Anything and everything coated in chocolate is worth trying!  I've even eaten chocolate covered ants!!  They were good!  These days I limit my chocolate intake to once a week, (at least i try anyways) because the sugar and the fat aren't the best for my weight and boarder line diabetes.  But when I do indulge, I certainly enjoy every bite!!

There is just something about the smooth milky sweetness of chocolate......  okay, now I'm jonesing!