too quiet

Yes, I have been very quiet here, not really posting anything with any real substance.  Partly its because of grad school, but mainly it is because I am struggling with what I want to blog about and what this blog has represented. 

So I'm moving in a totally new direction, new blog name, new place.  Some of you may enjoy the change, others may not be so enthused.  But go I must! 

Day 22: What's in your purse?

It seems that the law of purse attraction is that whatever size purse you carry it will be full!

Not long ago I downsized to a smaller purse.  Prior I was carrying around diapers, juice boxes, pokemon cards, you name it.  I was tired of being the pack horse so by downsizing I've cut back the amount I carry and my back pain!

I'm not about name brand, or color.  Its only about functionality!  It has to zip closed, otherwise when I stop short in the car all my crap is lost on the floor!  It has to have a small compartment to put my cell phone so that I can find it in a hurry and not dig though endless receipts to answer a call.

My must haves to carry are my pocket calendar, my check book, my wallet and my oils.  I carry about ten different essential oils at any given time.  I have three little mini purses as well, one for all those dam "discount" cards, and one for my stones. Currently my purse is exploding with receipts. So many, that each time I open the darn thing they are falling out on the floor! I have to keep track of all of Mr's expenses so each receipts is saved and once a month or so I collect them all and record them.  I think I am over due!

I'm about ready to downsize even further, but there is this fear that if i have less space I am sure to forget something and when I need it I won't have it!  Maybe I should just let go and carry a wallet!  But wait, I don't always have pockets!  Dam it!

Day 21: Something you could never get tired of doing

So many things to chose from......  I think that I try to enjoy so much of my life that there are many moments that I appreciate and could never get tired of doing..... 

• blowing raspberries on Walker's belly to make him laugh, 
• smelling Sawyer's hair when she is fresh out of the shower,
• playing in summer rain
• getting random hugs from Dylan,
• singing in the car
• watching Mason and Sawyer hold hands,
• jumping on the trampoline, 
• brewing coffee for when my sister's come over, 
• stopping on the side of the road to pick wild flowers, 
• wrapping presents,
• eating my sisters homemade chocolate chip cookies
• laying in the grass and watching the clouds

Each day, I try to remember the little moments. Its these things that make the stress of normal life bearable. Live in the moment, be in the moment.

What are some of the things you would never tire of?

If you need me this weekend....

This weekend I am setting out to try a new adventure.  Well, not necessarily new, I just haven't done it in almost ten years!  But the new part is doing it  somewhat by myself!  Yup, I am going camping!  Why? you wonder? why not?

A few months ago I was talking to a good friend about my need to take breaks from the family.  I didn't want to travel extravagantly, or spend tons of money in hotel rooms just so I could get a night of uninterrupted sleep.  He suggested that I buy a tent and start camping.  To him this sounded like a logical idea, but I had to remind him that for a man, this was not big deal, but for a woman, it wasn't necessarily the safest choice to make.  I don't think I would feel comfortable unless I was camping in my sister's yard..., and that pretty much defeated the point.  This really bugged me though!  My friend has spent a vacation biking around Prince Edward Island, he camped and enjoyed the solitude.  I was jealous!  I wanted that!  Honestly though, I'm not sure I could handle it though either.  The only other time that I had traveled by myself was with my old job, and it was weird to be in a hotel room just with myself for company. Luckily, I had lots of work to keep me busy.  This made me sad.  It made me wonder why can't I be by myself?

A month ago I overheard my sister's friends planning their annual camping trip.  They go twice a year up to a friends property upstate and camp for four days.  It has evolved into an "event" equipped with a pig roast, Chicken BBQ and rumored a truck with four kegs on tap. (not that i am a beer drinker) So I thought to myself, this would be perfect.  I could bring my own tent, camp out and partake in the activities in the manner I best saw fit. So I wiggled my way on the invite list and now this weekend is here!

I have to admit, I am pretty excited!  I can't remember the last time I had to only pack and plan for just myself!  I have enjoyed being self sufficient planning and packing and plan to really relax and enjoy myself!  If I want to go for a run, I can, whenever I want!  If I want to just sit and read..... I CAN!  Sure for the younger campers its more about the food and beverages, I on the other hand will get to experience a quasi solo camping trip with in the safety of a group!  Its not about reliving my youth... or running away (okay maybe a little), but more about something that I personally want to do for myself! Plus, I'll have my camera.. and sure to get some good shots of some pretty funny sh&t!!

Day 20: Nicknames you have

All my life I've hated my name because there was no other form in which I could change it to.  Jill, just plain Jill.  Not Jillian. I repeat NOT Jillian.  I had a 6th grade teacher, whom I loathed, who insisted on calling me Jillian.  When my mother showed up for the parent teacher conference and she called me that, my mother informed her that " her name is Jill, if i wanted you to call her Jillian I would have named her Jillian".  I think that is when my mother became my hero instead of my enemy. 

Another name has crept up time and again in my life. It pops up with new people who never knew I had them to begin with.  Jilly Bean, is a common one.  Otherwise, its mom, mamma.  So far, my two year old doesn't realize that I have another name, she just adds my last name to mamma.  (pretty cute)

Then there are the nicknames that I try to get people to call me but they just don't stick: My Queen, or Mi Rena (spanish version), sex kitten, Coolest Mom... but I keep trying!

Day 19: Something you miss

As my 36th birthday quickly approaches I have really begun to notice the affects of aging on my body .  Sure I've had some grey hair, and maybe a laugh line or too, no big deal right? But i've begun to notice other things that are aging as well.  Take my hands for example. They have the battle scars of kitchen accidents, and knuckle cracking. My feet also show signs of many miles that they have walked. Even my thieghs show signs of aging from the many pounds lost and gained, to be lost again.  Mostly though, I miss my perfect B cup breasts.

yup, I said it!  After breastfeeding four children and ample pounds lost and gained to be lost again, they aren't quite the perky perfection of my youth!  On top of missing their actual physical appearance, I missed the opportunity to show them off to the world when i did have them!  Call it my secret exhibitionist but there's something tantalizing about wearing a perfectly white t-shirt braless that I will never be able to enjoy!  When I did have the body that i miss, i was to busy being modest and shy. Not wanting people to judge me based on my appearance.  Now that those possibilities are gone, I miss them. Sure you can say plastic surgery is still out there, but really..... I'm not that vain!

Day 18: Favorite Place to Eat

I love food, all kinds of food.... fatty fried goodness, steak, sushi, Mexican, Chinese.... you name it I will eat it!  So picking one place that is my favorite is really hard! 

Depending on my company also dictates what place is my favorite.
 
When the "sisters" go out we always go to El Banditos which is a Mexican restaurant in town. They can be a little pricey but with the appetizer, desserts and complimentary shots of tequila, it is sure to be a good time!

When its a family event, we stick to a place that is kid friendly, and has fast service, this equates to a drive through!

For Sunday breakfast we frequent a small town deli on the corner of RT 284 and County Route 1.  The omelets are huge, the service is comical and the price is always right!

My newest place to go for those who are as daring as I am when it comes to food is the new Indian Restaurant in town.  I am still learning the menu and cannot even tell you what it is that I like to eat there, just that it has lentils and is served over rice.

As for a dessert date or light menu for lunch or dinner the place is Something Sweet in downtown.  The atmosphere is casual but the desserts are anything but!  I save all my calorie allowance when going there!

Food is one of my favorite past times, so the list truly could go on and on!  Please feel free to leave me suggestions as I am always willing to try out new places!!